Ephesians 6:4
For a human being to do a task in a manner that will be acceptable to God, he/she needs the enablement of the Holy Spirit. Acts 1:8. Parenting might be a universal practice, but godly parenting is exclusive to believers who know the Lord and live by His Word. Gen 18:19
While the verse says, “fathers,” It is speaking of the role of parents in the lives of their children. God commands husbands and wives to love and respect one another. God tells Christian parents, “You have a responsibility to your children.“
A. There Is A Caution
“Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath.” Specifically, don’t cause them to be angry. Paul elaborates on this in Col. 3:21, where he writes, “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged (or broken in spirit).” There are at least five ways parents tend to do this to their children.
• Through Over-protection – It’s understandable why some parents feel the need to protect their children. But, as they grow and mature, there comes a time that they must be given some measure of freedom. If you hold on too tightly, for too long, they will come to resent it.
• Through Overindulgence – You can take hands off and give them total freedom. When that happens, they come to believe they are entitled to anything they want in life.
• Through Favoritism – You can cause anger in your children because of favoritism. When parents show favoritism to their kids, it turns them into very insecure adults.
• Through Frustration – If you aren’t very careful, sometimes you can break their Spirit over unrealistic expectations.
Be mindful that every time there is a word of criticism for your child, give two words of praise. Every time you say a negative, be sure you say two positive things about your children.
• Through Neglect – The average Father spends about 30 minutes per week talking with his children. That’s not nearly enough.
B. There Is A Command
“Bring them up” – That carries the idea of training your children and bringing them to the place of maturity. Paul tells us two ways to go about bringing up our children.
1. Parents Are To Discipline Their Children – The word “nurture” is the same word that is sometimes translated as “chastisement, “That brings up the whole matter of discipline.
Children need to learn that there are boundaries in life. They need to learn that there are rules they have to obey. They need to be disciplined when they cross the line to learn this. Failure to discipline your children when they are young will cause them to have little respect for any authority when they grow up.
Pro. 22:15 says, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.“
Susannah Wesley, who raised 17 children, including John and Charles Wesley, who most would consider being somewhat of an expert, said this about discipline, “The parent that studies to subdue self-will in his child works together with God in renewing and saving a soul. The parent who indulges it does the devil’s work makes salvation unattainable and does all that in him lies to damn his child, soul, and body forever.“
The word “nurture” also carries the idea of “education and training.” Parents are responsible for teaching their children the things they need to know about the Lord. We are to expose and teach them God’s Word and help them understand the Gospel. Based on what the Bible says, we teach them right
2. Parents Are to Direct Their Children – The word “admonish” means “to teach using words.” Parents need to spend quality time and quantity time with their children. It would be best to communicate to them using positive words, being very careful of the words you say and the tone of your voice when you say them. Deut. 6:6-9.
C. Conclusion
May I remind you that it is far easier to build a child than that to repair an adult! May the Lord help us to do everything in our power to be the best parents we can be to His praise and glory.
Any change must begin with the Lord. The parents must be in the right relationship with the Lord, the same goes for the relationship between parents and children. If there are needs, please bring them to Jesus right now.
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